Monday, November 6, 2006

06 November 2006

Monday, so blue so blue

Today is so blue! Now is 1133hrs, and from 0900hrs till now, I've yet to spoke more than 10 sentences. That's how blue I am. Maybe I'm affected by what happened yesterday, or maybe I'm just plain tired. Or maybe....I don't know. Anyway I've kept to myself this whole morning, even msn also never say much. Went to WLNY, my reply are all short and curt, really no mood. Just can't wait for the week to be over. This Sat I'm going to the car show! Thanks Eugene. Can't wait to see pretty cars.

Yesterday I was discussing with dad over which car to buy. He insisted on buying Honda Civic 2.0L instead of 1.8L. I told him there's no need to buy such a high end car. Buy 2.0L for what? Singapore many mountains to climb? Or hills? Singapore only got humps for goodness sake! Kaoz. Buy so ex for what? Dad then told me he couldn't afford my favourite car, S2000. DUH. It's my dream car, why is it call dream if it's so easily attainable? My dad can be so unrealistic sometimes. 2.0L lehz. Petrol very expensive lehz!! Give me a Honda Fit I also happy. LoL. Somemore COE prices for <1.5L went down to about 10K? Can't really remember, all I know is it went down. Petrol also went down. Maybe I can fulfil my dream of having a car....then maybe again.......

03 November marks 1 year

I was playing game the whole day yesterday, and I was looking at the date. Then I realised me and Kevin broke up over a year ago. 03 November marks the 1 year of breakup with him. Wow. Time flies. I'd broken up 1 year le, meaning he and his current gf is like...1 month+ to their 1st year anniversary. Me? I'm not even into my eighth month yet.
Sometimes I would think to myself, what would my life be if Kevin hadn't dumped me a year ago? Ya, we'll still be quarreling everyday. His father would still loathe me. I would still be a free maid at his house, washing dishes, taking Doggy out for walks, ironing clothes, folding them and making his room. Wow. Oh ya, I would also be married by the time December comes. I would be Mrs Su. Madam Bang. As if. All these are just wishful thinking on my part. I would also have to tahan his friends talking about me, INFRONT of me, as if I were invisible. To hear his friends talk about going to high class places, to talk about their unrealistic dreams. Haha to them! Yes! That's HAHA in your faces, Zs and W!
Oh ya! We would go to expensive restaurants and eat, he would pay for my dinners when we're with Zizhang, Weili and company. And then what happens? I would pay for his ciggies, his petrol, his daily makan expenditures if any. But then I get to drive a car. And someone to watch cartoons with me. Someone to look towards the same direction with me. Someone to praise me not because I asked for it, but because he really meant it. Maybe these are the reasons why he has so many girls after him. Cause he makes each and everyone feel special. Oh well, there's pros and cons.
Well, saying so much, I really wana thank Kevin. Kevin, if you happened to read this, which I don't think you would, thank you for dumping me. As what Weifeng had always told me; to enjoy heaven, you need to go thru hell first. Well...I had enough of hell for 1 yr 3 months. Actually it was longer than that, but who's counting? I just wana enjoy my heaven for now.
Hey Kev, thanks for all the good memories you brought me. Err, together with the not-so-good memories. Thanks for teaching me to drive like a maniac like you too! LoL. Anyway, take care and hope one day we can be friends once more.

My feelings turned sour?

Recently me and Weifeng kept on quarreling. Every alternate days. I'm kinda sick of it. I did some thinking this morning. I realised I was easily irritated for the past few weeks. I also don't know why. Not only towards him, but towards my family and my collegues as well. Needless to say, towards whoever comes in my path actually. I scream at my customers, I shout at my parents, I yell at Weifeng. It's not his fault actually. I mean, I also don't know what's wrong. Feel so emotional recently. Think I'm under stress. I don't know. I'm just finding excuses for my actions. I guess what I really need is a break. A short trip or whatever. Just to relax. Everyday wake up, go work; then after work go home, eat, can't even relax a little have to sleep le. Next day the same thing. On Saturdays, we're always in a rush to enjoy ourselves. Then Sunday comes and goes, then it's routine all over again. I need a break, I need tenderness and care to get me thru. I'm so tired of everything.
Weifeng, I still love you. I do. It's just that due to recent things and quarrels, it did made me more jumpy and more irritable. That's all. Sigh. Duno le lah...wana go work liaoz. Ciaoz all.

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