I'm On Auto Pilot

I don't know what I am doing anymore. Nothing seems to interest me. Except sms-ing him (bugging him more like it) and trying to hold back the tears (which I failed). When I used to be angry, I'll just watch tv or play some games and I'll feel better. But not this time. 10min into playing game I just wana shut it all off and go back to sleep.

My fever's better today, but the headache's still here. I don't know if it's the weather that's cold or I'm going to fall sick, cause I'm actually wearing a jacket when the fan isn't on at all. I'm just so miserable.

Been awake for 2 hours, but I don't feel hungry. I just wana sleep the day away and hopefully the headache will be gone. And maybe, just maybe, my heart won't ache so much. It hurts to wake up to a heartache every morning..to stop myself from crying and wetting my pillows.

I'm more like a zombie. I won't eat, I won't go out and I won't play games. Chew (Thomas, my classmate) messaged me this morning asking me to take care. Thanks for the concern. Ok..I don't know what I'm going to do now. Maybe I'll just get another glass of water and pop another couple of panadols.......


PS: I told him I'm willing to go donate blood if he's willing to give me another chance. For someone who has such big fear on needles, this is a very big sacrifice for me...