Friday, June 8, 2007

It's normal

Today, one of my best bro msn-ed me. He was one of the guy that got me thru my darkest period when me and Kevin parted. Yepz...Yihui. Someone whom I fondly call ah bui. He's not fat lah. Just that hui and bui...sounds the same. And he was plump back then. Now he's thinner lah.
Anyway, I told him about the problems with my relationship. His first suggestion was for me to move on, so that both me and Feng will be happier. I asked him if it was him, would he be able to move on. The one saying all these finds it easy. But if it really happened to you, would you able to do it? Well, Bui told me if it happened to him, he won't be able to also. Then we continued chatting, and realised we are both facing similar problems. We know it would be wiser to move on, but just can't. So what we can do, or he is doing is to either tolerate, or just keep quiet. Maybe both of us are a little silly. But then if we're able to do this for our partner, what does this show? Simple. THAT. WE. LOVE. OUR. PARTNERS.
Bui told me that one day I'll just be like him. If have, then have lor. If don't have, then don't have lor. I'm guessing that this isn't what he is thinking. Cause if really don't have, both of us breakdown. Seriously, don't think that I look OK. I am strong on the outside doesn't mean I am strong. Remember the song, 'Superwoman'? But I am only human. Yes. I am only human. I'm made of meat and tears....mostly tears.
Our chat made me realise, there really isn't much difference between females and males....are there? He's a male, and I'm a female. Yet we're facing similar problems. Really xing ku. BUT...I will preservere. What Xueyu wants, Xueyu gets. Xueyu sets her mind, she will get it done. I can do it I can do it. Believe in me.

Then I went for lunch. Met up with Huiling, had a smoke. Then came back to office, Gene told me he finally received his IC today. Congrats! But he didn't really sound happy. I asked him what's his prob. Gf. LoL. Asked him what's wrong, similar problem to mine. Duno how to let go even though we know we should. Funny right. Maybe that's what they mean by "jin zhu ze ci, jin mo ze hei". Sigh. Today Friday liaoz, don't think so much. Tomorrow will be a better day! Good luck to both my guys...Bui and Gene. May the 3 of us be happy with our choices! Jiayou! ^_^
I'm not at fault!!

Recently, I keep having problems at work. Monday I took half day leave, I was screwed by my manager on Tues, even though she's in China and I'm in Singapore. She says for me to keep taking leave and MC, it's not looking good on my performance. HELLO. Ppl sick, don't take MC and don't take leave, wait at office can't concentrate, do wrong things you'll also scold. DUH! Find out what really happened first leh!! Gan dulan lehz!! Piangz!
Then say I incompetent...*faint* I'm a fast worker lor!! For God's sake! Check thoroughly whether I did promise to do or not. Then don't keep using my performance to threaten me lah ok. You keep saying nobody is indispensable. No company is indispensable also de lor. Since you already have the idea that nobody is indispensable, then why do you need people in the office? Felt so used and cheated by you man. Oh also said that I'm young, that's my capital. Yah better treat me nicer or I'll run. I'm serious.
I'm young. I don't need my first job to be my last. I don't need your measely pay to feed my whole family. Your company just happened to land at my feet at the right time. ARGH! Hate my manager. So dulan. Keep demoralising me. FUCK YOU BITCH!

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