Wednesday, July 4, 2007

04 July 2007, Wednesday

No Integrity...GAN DULAN

I wrote this title and went to eat. But was damn pissed off. Initially, we (the females), arranged to go out eat today. By 430pm, I asked Baohua (our female engineer), if we are still going. If not, either I eat my maggi mee or I go out with Roger to have dinner. She told me it's still early, no need to make arrangements first. So I trust her to keep her word since she suggested going to this restaurant that was selling something else. At 530pm, Roger went to have dinner. Wangli (my new fan..she follows me wherever I go...serious) asked if I wanted to go out have dinner. She called Baohua but Baohua said after work then go eat, which is 6pm. But at 540, Ah Gan, our accountant in China, came up and helped Baohua retrieve her card. This card enables them to get food from the canteen. I asked her if we're still going out for dinner, she told me that Baohua doesn't want to go out. By then I was damn pissed. So I told her (Ah Gan) that Baohua kept on dragging, and if she didn't want to eat outside she could have told me earlier so I could have made my own arrangements. I must have sounded damn angry (you guys know how I am when I'm angry...I look damn fierce) cause Ah Gan looked shocked and told me she'll ask Baohua.

I was busy playing my Sims, when Wangli received a call from Baohua saying that we will go have dinner as arranged after 6pm. 6pm came, I was already pissed, and there was no call. So I suggested to Wangli that we should order takeaway. Wangli didn't want to, and kept telling me to hold on while she calls Baohua. Baohua says we can go meet them le. Piangz, don't call them they no news de lehz. So me and Wangli went downstairs to meet up with them. Feng called me and I was blabbering to him...all in English of course. Wangli went inside the office to look for them and came out 5min later. Think I really looked very angry, cause she didn't dare talk to me.

Me and Wangli walked to the restaurant, which is like about 15-20min walk away. very ulu one lah ok. Industrial area, what you expect. By then I started to cool down le. I was smoking and walking, and am getting used to the stares by the people here. You see, China females don't smoke. 99% of the females here don't lah. LoL. Then we reached the restaurant, went in, sat down and I made order. I ordered Kang Kong, Hotplate Beef, and Japanese Tofu and some other things which I can't rem. Sat down for a whole 15min before Baohua, Ah Gan and Wanru appeared. They took bike somemore lehz. Kaoz. Table was big, for 8 ppl, but nobody sat beside me and Wangli. The 3 of them sat together. I was very quiet throughout the whole dinner. My Kang Kong came, but I didn't eat much cause they, being China Chinese, do not really know the courtesy of leaving some for the guest. The Japanese's just our egg tofu with minced pork and chilli. In fact all the dishes are with chilli except Kang Kong, which I ordered for them since they were having a little cough and flu.

When I was having the fish, Kevin called and complained a little. I listened to him and actually choked on 2 fish bones. They are still stuck inside my throat I think. Hope they don't pierce any of my pipes, whether or not they are in use. Anyway, when I was chatting with Kevin, the waitress served a plate of Bai Cai with garlic. I ate ONE leaf only. Because after finishing my stupid fish, the plate of Bai Cai was gone. Left the gravy and garlic. THANKS. Argh!!! No wonder I never liked China. Eating with them is SO much different when the boss is around. They do not dare take too much. And my boss always give me alot of food. Damn idiotic. Nevermind! Sua sua...Sat going home le.

Oh did I mention that SIA called and told me there's a vacancy for Friday's flight? And that I turned down the offer? Maybe I should have taken that hor. Fuck lah. With such integrity shown by them, I doubt so much that there will be KTV session tomorrow night. Tomorrow gonna visit my customers somemore. Sianz. Gotta wake up at 7am, leaving at 8am. EKKKKKKKkkkkkks. I hate Astec I hate Astec. LoL. Mummy...I wana be in Singapore where everyone understands sarcarsm, where everyone understand each other's hidden jokes, where everyone understands English, Chinese, Hokkien and Cantonese. Where I am able to go anywhere freely in the country without fearing there's pickpockets here...or that people are aiming to rob me. Sob. Next time must bring one more Singaporean, else I'll be damn bored when nobody eats with me. At least got another, person go out with me I'm not afraid. Can eat restaurant somemore! Yeah! Sigh....sua sua lah.

Why am I feeling this way?
Why is it that some people...they want to be in a relationship, but they still want their freedom when they're single. THIS. IS. NOT. POSSIBLE. OK? You can't be in a relationship yet still want your stupid feedom. NO WAY. When you go into a relationship, it's because you love that person. And how do you define true love? Every min or every hour you're thinking of the person, and you are constantly counting down to the time you meet that person. And when you're out with that person, you are happy no matter what. I read it in my story book. This guy named Daniel, broke up with his girlfriend or rather fiancee, Laura, because he found her cheating with his best friend behind her back. After 6 months, his anger subsides, and he misses her. He talks about her and his eyes grows distant. Sad yet missing that person greatly.

After a year, he gets back with her. He chose her back over some girl he had recently grown fond of. Why? Even when the girlfriend is sluttish, is a bitch, is unreasonable and all...because of love. This doesn't happen in books and fairytales only. This happened in real life too. My cousin. She's not a slut though. But she's unreasonable, wild, and everything an only child should or could be, but she's not an only child. She has an elder sister and younger brother. She's married the best guy around. Someone whom loves her with his heart, even when she's throwing tantrums. Even when she's unreasonable. Buys her gifts, surprises her just to see her smile. He always smile when he's near her, taking care of her. My cousin is damn lucky. I guess I have no chance to meet this kind of guy. Maybe I did. Maybe he left. Maybe...just maybe...I should be alone again to explore what I am missing or whichever guy that might just suit my criteriors. Someone to sms me, telling me that he misses me. That he's counting down the minutes because the seconds just made it looked so long. That he loves me. That will buy me ice cream to cheer me up. That will be at home just because I can't go out. That will call me up and chat with me so I won't be bored. That will shave all his hair if I happened to have a bad haircut. Damn. I should become a guy instead. And all women would love me.......

I'm really having a tough time with my guy right now. Yes, even when I'm in China. Sucks right. We're on a cooling period. Which might end up breaking. Cause I'm so very tired. There's no compromise at all. He says don't wana quarrel, I end the conversation so I could go rest my head and cool it. He wana go out, I try to lun even though it would please me if he's home one day, just to show that he's sad I'm not around with him. But he'll NEVER, EVER get it. Sigh. Someone please explain to him what I want. But then, by now he should actually know what I want. Obviously the foundation wasn't strong in the beginning. I'm swaying away. I'm giving up. Real soon. So tired.

No comments: