Friday, March 7, 2008

Marriage != Courting/Dating

Went out with E009 peeps last night to celebrate Chan Yeh's birthday. As usual, we started chatting even after we finished our dinner at Waraku Katong. Pics will be coming up soon. Anyway, we were chatting and the topic of marriage came up. Jack made a comment saying to know whether you can live with your partner for the rest of your life, try living with him/her for a few months.

Marriage is not like courting or dating. You've to see your partner for the remaining of your life, or his/hers, whichever is shorter. And, as Eugene had said, we're living longer and longer, so the partner we chose to walk the future with us, had to be someone you can tahan for the next 50 years or more. Imagine me and Feng stuck for another 50

A relationship isn't easy. Being married is no easy task. In fact, it's even tougher than dating. Because both parties have to be committed, have to learn to compromise. When dating, both parties have their own personal space when they don't meet. They can nua infront of the tv, slack, ask friends over for MJ, or to some extent, some might bring friends of the opposite sex home. But marriage, you can't do that. You will be no longer living with your parents, whom had grown accustomed to your ways and living, and since they're blood related, they more or less give in or accept you and your tempers. I know my parents did.

I remembered one of my lecturers told me something about her marriage. She says marriage is a learning curve. You don't start understanding and knowing the person until you're married. And you learn new stuff about your partner everyday. I believe that's so true.

Jack said that even after marriage, it's wiser to have own personal life too, but can't always go out with friends and leave the partner at home. There must be a balance to create, which is so hard to create. I jokingly told my friends that during dating, when the female is angry, she can just hang up the phone on the guy. What about marriage? You're living in the same house. What would you do? Call him on the handphone when he's just in the next room so you can hang up on him? LoL.

Marriage is no easy task. Maintaining is is harder still. I really admire those couple, who in their old age, are still holding hands, going to the beach with the grandchildren. And they look blissful. Sigh.

Anyway, I realised that marriage should not be taken too lightly and although me and Feng are always quarreling, I believe we can make things work out to a better future for both of us. Sue, Ling, Rin...I'm counting on you guys to make his wedding morning a memorable one! Haha...but still many years to go lah money for my ang pao! Keke..

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