Now enough said about her. Let's talk about MY smoking habit. Is it an addiction or a habit? I've thought over it for a very long time and realised it's habitual. Think it's easier to cure an addiction than to change a habit. I mean, I'd been smoking since age 17 and the average sticks I smoke nowadays...5 - 8 sticks I guess. I'm not really hooked onto the nicotine. Cause (by right) after 24 hours of not smoking, smokers will feel a difference. Well, whenever I am home, I don't smoke. That includes weekends if I am home. I can go without smoking on Sunday. So my last stick might be on a Sat night or Fri night. I can go without ciggies all the way until Monday morning. Heck, I did't smoke for 1 week the last time me and my parents went Beijing/Korea! So what is exactly wrong? It's a habit. Seriously.
Don't drop comments like "Since you know it's a habit, then quit" or "Quit smoking! It's so un-glam" or whatsoever. I've been a non-smoker for 17 years before becoming a smoker. I know how disgusting a smoker is. Believe me. Kissing a smoker is yucks. The taste in their mouth and all. That was when I was a non-smoker. Why I became a smoker then? Call it rebellious. I just wanted to rebel against my dad. Well, the exact story only a few close friends will know. "OK you're done rebelling. So quit now!" Hey, it's not that easy ok? It's as if asking you to stop a habit that you've had for 9 fucking years. Maybe some likes to shake legs, some likes to snort or whatever. Something your subconscious mind is asking you to do. Or you do without you realising it. Well, my craving for ciggies is something like that. Whenever I stepped out of an aircon area, I want/need to smoke.
My darling Suefong had been a smoker since age 14. But she stopped smoking about 2 years + back. She didn't cut down or change to a more disgusting ciggie to stop her craving. She just suddenly stopped. She had cold turkey..but she told me everything was ok after the first week. Hers is an addiction. I asked her if she had quit smoking for good, she told me that she just stop smoking. Who knows one day she's feeling stressed and all, and decided to puff again? Nice one. LoL. And another example..my jie mei, Thomas. Whenever I smoke infront of him a couple of years back, he'll niam at me to quit. Saying how much I've wasted, how black my lungs would be and all. And now...he's back to smoking. LoL. I'm not laughing at him. Cause he DID stop smoking for a couple of years. But there's something in the ciggie that really makes a person relax. When I feel tired or stressed or sad, I'll smoke and actually feel better. Non-smokers, you won't know this feeling. This is not an excuse. Just ask ANY smokers.
Being a smoker myself, I should get used to the disgusting smell. But no. I still can't stand it when I'm breathing in 2nd hand smoke. And that is why when I smoke, I tend to blow up instead of out. But please, is it necessarily for you to pinch your nose and fan the air whenever a smoker walk pass? Not as if we're blowing into your face. Sheesh.
I seriously do not know where this piece is heading...but I'm just gonna write till I feel like it I guess. Oh yah..habitual and hooked. Hooked is when every morning the first thing you need is a stick of ciggie. Habit is....is....like me! LoL. The hooked part was quoted by my manager..who commented on an ex-colleague of mine. My smoking buddy then. I will break this habit..one day. Just not now. Cause I wana slowly cut it out of my life. For someone who used to smoke 10 - 15 sticks per day, this is already a reduction. Let me slowly stop smoking...maybe I will when I study, cause no money to buy ciggies? LoL. I'm still rational ok. If left with $10, I would choose to buy a plate of chicken rice (drumstick!!) with the works (+ chicken lungs, kidney and char siew! *Yum*) than ciggies. That is if I'm hungry though. LoL.
What I need is less nagging on asking me to quit. It's really irritating. I will stop if I want to. Excessive nagging W-I-L-L N-O-T H-E-L-P. I believe all smokers are like this. Heck, I'm a woman. I'll need to go through 9 months without smoking some time or another right? LoL. Oh yah, recently alot of my friends had given birth. And I saw a pattern. Many of my friends who give birth to daughters, actually have a smoker husband. So guys, if you're pinning on a son, try not to smoke for a couple of weeks or months. ^_^
OK...enough already. I'm going back to work. LoL. Long time no write..once write become so long. Oh yah..did I mention that I'm extending my last day to 05/30? Another month's of pay to put into my pocket money in the future! Keke. OK ciaoz.
PS: This is JUST my view ok..